Ever have one of those days where nothing is really wrong, but nothing is really right, either? You’re just simply unhappy for no particular reason. Not mad or upset, but definitely not excited or even content.
You don’t have a headache, but your head feels tense, kind of light-headed, kind of heavy, like you are just about to get a headache. You aren’t nauseous, but you feel slightly queasy, and you don’t feel like eating anything. Nothing bad happens throughout the day, just a normal day, but you just aren’t happy. You are dissatisfied.
Everything seems draining. Boring. Annoying even. Nothing specific, just normal, day-to-day things.
And there’s the problem. Day to day things. Every day. Day after day after day. Gets under your skin sometimes, doesn’t it?
What’s the point? What does it all mean? Does anyone really care?
You want to do something different. Special. Amazing. Something that means something. Be a hero. Save the day. Save the world. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe it is. In order to be a hero, there has to be a villain. In order to save the day or the world, there has to be someone or something to save it from.
Do you really want to wish for your friends and family to be threatened, just so you have the opportunity to be a hero? What if you’re not fast enough or strong enough? What if you just freeze up? What if you fail?
When I am feeling dissatisfied for no particular reason, I’ve learned to write or draw or do something creative. It took me a long time to figure this out (with a lot of help from my wife), and my wife’s life has been much less annoying since I did.
A lot of times on days like this I won’t feel like writing. This is one of those days I mentioned in this post. But almost always, if I sit down and start writing, I’ll start to feel a little better. A little less dissatisfied with my day.
It doesn’t really matter what I write. Sometimes I’ll write a little bit in one story, maybe a sentence or two in another, then an idea for a poem will pop into my head, so I’ll write that down, but it’s not a complete poem, it’s a few lines that don’t fit together very well. But that’s okay. Other times, I’ll get started, and find it hard to stop. I write and write and write. And that’s okay. As long as I’m writing.
Today, I’m writing a little bit about how I write to feel better about myself in my blog. And now my day is that much better.