I wasn’t planning on posting anything tonight, especially not something about as heavy and huge as the topic of abuse.
So why did I? PonderingSpawned, that’s why. She wrote an incredible post on the subject, looking to start a conversation, wanting to discuss reasons, maybe find some understanding, and hopefully make the world a better place.
I wrote a comment, and it ended up being long enough to be a blog post on its own. So why not use it as one? But I strongly recommend heading on over to PonderingSpawned’s blog to see it for yourself. If nothing else, it helps my comment make more sense than if you just read it by itself. Here’s the link: http://ponderingspawned.com/2013/04/04/lets-talk-about-it/
The subject is so broad and deep, my little comment doesn’t do it justice. So read, think, ponder. And join the conversation.
Here is my comment:
The sad thing is, a lot of people continue to act like 3 year olds, in all the wrong ways. It’s great if you can keep the sense of discovery and wonder, of seeing and understanding new things everyday. Unfortunately, too many people have kept the temper tantrum part of being 3 years old, and have lost the joy of learning new things.
Another problem is the sense of superiority and entitlement that a lot of people seem to have. They use the idea that they are superior to others in some way (whether it’s physical strength, intelligence, or something else) to justify putting others down, usually using what they think is their strength. A big strong man beating up his wife or girlfriend, or the wimpy geek for his lunch money. Someone witty and funny making brutal jokes at everyone, making them feel worthless, while everyone laughs, because, hey, they’re just jokes, right? Someone else who’s clever and subtle manipulating people to get them to do what they want.
And they continue to do this, because deep down inside they know they aren’t superior, they aren’t better than anyone else, but they want to be, and they want others to believe they are, so they act like it, and they put others down however they can because they think that makes them look superior.
Another reason why it’s hard to end abusive behavior – people like to feel special, like they are in control, and abusers don’t think they can feel that way without knocking those around them down.
Can we show/convince people that they are special and in control of their lives, and they don’t need to hurt or belittle others to stay that way? Can we teach people to embrace their own talents and goals without viewing other’s talents and goals as a threats?
In weird way, it’s like blogging. Should I go around and view other blogs that are bigger and better than mine with jealousy and anger? Is making fun of other blogs or bloggers in my posts or by trolling their comments going to make my blog the best one around? Of course not. Instead, I can join the community of bloggers, start and continue conversations, debate topics, learn new things, meet new people, and encourage conversation and debate with my own posts.